A Dad’s Reflections

Poem for Z and J
I hate and love NS.

It takes away me from my family but at the same time it also brings us together.

Grapefruit – how sour!

But we loved eating it together, and it was so fun by to see how you cringe as you ate the Grapefruits.

“I want to eat the whole thing”!

As I type this, a smile on my face and a sour taste in my mouth!

I’m sorry that I had to work the night before my ICT, and couldn’t read a story to you.

But I treasure the time I could have with you, carrying you, praying for you. 

You always remember to ask me to pray for didi who is sleeping. I would put my right hand on him and pray “I lay you down to sleep”.

I love how you whisper “goodnight” to me as I close the door, your lovely eyes big and wide, and you trying to strike a last conversation with me, asking me why are the lights off. 

As I told you that I am going to be a soldier tomorrow, you said “bye bye” so tenderly. I feel tears fill up my eyes as I close the door. 

Goodnight my son…

J – you are always full of joy and energy. You little bundle of action, always in your own little world, exploring the toilets, the common corridor and the dehumidifiers.

The dehumidifiers actually do a great job helping you learn to walk!

You remind me to be a child of God – and as I experience my love for you, I experience that tiny little bit of Daddy God’s love for us.

I loved how happy you were when we ran together at the Airport and at IKEA. You were jumping and squealing in your stroller as kor kor scooted and carried you in the IKEA shopping trolley.

I love the way you crawl to me with so much excitement and laughter.

I love looking into your eyes as you look around curiously.

I love you J.

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